Westward. Encounters with Swiss American Women

Dr. Margot Ammann maintained an active practice and retired at age 71. A few years later, in his eighties, her husband also retired. Suddenly he developed kidney failure, requiring dialysis. “This is a tedious process three times a week, lasting three to four hours and leaving one considerably weakened. Fortunately I had the strength to help him and the time to give him companionship. It was a fulltime project for both of us. His diet was very strict and required careful control. I would accompany him when he went on the wheelchair to and from the hospital and read to him while he had to lie for hours during the treatments. He was always so thankful and how often he would say to me, ‘How would I have done all of this without you, Margot?’ It was somehow bittersweet.

“In October 2001, two weeks after the attacks on the Twin Towers, Gus died. This was a very difficult time – clouds were over the city and I was enveloped in my own cloud of sorrow. The quick step from life to death was a shock. Suddenly I was alone. However he is always with me. At night before I go to sleep I look at his photograph smiling at me, say goodnight and ask how could I have been so lucky to share my life and love with him. In spite of the great sorrow, I was thankful that he could die in peace and dignity. His heart was slowly failing and intense treatments would have been necessary to extend his life somewhat. It was a hard decision for me to tell the doctor to discontinue dialysis. After three days at home he fell into a peaceful sleep. There was nothing more to do. I realized then how thin is the thread upon which our life hangs – even when we think we are so strong.”